(My brother comes into my room one night after I’d accidentally told him I had a boyfriend earlier. He stands there awkwardly for a few minutes before getting to the point.)

Brother: “Do you have a second to talk?”

Me: “Sure.”

Brother: “Need-to-know conversation only?”

Me: *knowing what it’s going to be about* “Duh! I don’t want to tell you anymore that you want to know.”

Brother: “So… were you serious about having a boyfriend earlier?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Brother: “I thought so. Is it that kid you were hanging out with before?”

Me: “Yep.”

(He proceeds to ask several more general questions about him before looking satisfied and promising not to tell our mom until I’m ready. He leaves, but comes running back in five minutes later.)

Brother: “Wait! I have to meet this kid, but until then, tell him that if he hurts you we’re going to go for a long ride that he may or may not return from.”

(Needless to say my boyfriend’s slightly nervous about meeting my brother now!)