(We’re eating dinner, and my mum’s convinced that rats are stealing our duck eggs. I argue that they’re not dexterous enough.)

Mum: “You’re wrong. When I was young, I was waiting for a bus when I saw a rat—”

Me: “—riding past on a tricycle?”

Mum: “No! There were three of them, they were—”

Dad: “—riding unicycles. Rats don’t need three wheels.”

Me: “And that leaves their paws free for playing their piccolos!”

Mum: “No! They were sitting at the side of the road—”

Me: “—playing poker?”

Dad: “Of course, there weren’t enough of them for bridge.”

Mum: “Shut up you two! Rats are clever.”

Dad: “Very witty. Natural rat-onteurs.”

(Mum gives up.)